【Poor Things】

I should have Poor Thingsseen it coming from a thousand miles away, but I still feel blindsided. Domino’s just made a major change to its pizza tracker.

The pizza chain announced it would finally add GPS functionality to its long-running online delivery service, per CNBC. Yes, you read that right: You'll be able to track the exact location of your pizza on a map as it comes to your home.

The feature will roll out to all Domino's stores in the United States by the time 2019 is over. This massive addition to the tried and true Domino's pizza tracker has apparently existed outside the U.S. for awhile, but it's evaded our shores until now.

You might think this is a good thing, but hold your horses.

Even as a New York City resident, I still occasionally order delivery from Domino's. It tastes decent enough and it serves a different (but equally valid) purpose than typical New York pizza. Most importantly, the aforementioned pizza tracker on the Domino's website and app is a fun tool for monitoring delivery progress.

Right now, the pizza tracker gives you step-by-step notifications from when your order is placed to when it goes in the oven, gets in a car, and makes it to your front door. It also tells you the name of your delivery person. There are questions about its accuracy, but that's fine; the illusion is good enough.

Domino's has been ahead of the online pizza curve, earning it a spot on our best fast food mobile apps ranking earlier this year. It's also been partially credited with rejuvenating the once-struggling pizza franchise. But even in the rankings, I acknowledged that the pizza tracker as it exists is a little invasive. Adding GPS tracking to it is a bridge too far.

I don't need to know exactly which cross street my pizza is at. I'm willing to trust that it will get to me eventually. More importantly, delivery people don't need more reasons for customers to be jerks to them. Someone out there is going to obsessively track their pizza and make a scene because the driver took a route the customer didn't like.

Yes, other apps such as UberEats and Postmates already do this and Domino's does it overseas. I realize nothing I say here will stop Domino's from bringing the feature here. It's just worth noting that we've made it this far without this tech in the Domino's app; we should discourage surveillance of food service employees whenever we can.

Domino's deserves some credit for being an online and mobile ordering innovator, but this feels like too much. It's creepy and the pizza tracker is good enough already.