【India】
Illinois Jesus
Best of 2014
We’re out until January 5, but we’re re-posting some of our favorite pieces from 2014 while we’re away. We hope you enjoy—and have a happy New Year!
*A forgotten Midwestern religious sect and the strange novel it inspired.

An illustration from Six Years in Heaven.
The most confusing thing about the rural Midwest is the importance placed on being normal. Perhaps this comes from demographic homogeneity: there’s a comforting stability in being able to drive a hundred miles in almost any direction and find a landscape almost identical to the one from which you set out.
The Midwest is construed as a place where nothing happens—that being, it should be emphasized, a good thing. Native Americans once lived here, of course; but there’s no longer any sign of them aside from some low mounds and their continuing near-universal use as school mascots. When I grew up here, no one wondered why they’d left. Probably it was more exciting somewhere else. Who could blame them? It’s a fine place to leave.
But on returning, as I did recently, the effect is disorienting: this is a place where everyone is cheerfully convinced of the rationality of their insanity. I was never immune to this. In school, everyone was perplexed by race problems. We weren’t racist. How could we be when there weren’t any black people? We ignored that in Rockford, Illinois, ten miles away, desegregation lawsuits were impossibly still grinding through the court system. Likewise, we firmly believed that gay people weren’t something we had; we learned we’d had a Jewish family in our town only after they’d safely escaped. This seems ludicrous to me now, and things have undoubtedly changed since the turn of the century. With the arrival of the Internet and cable TV, the boast that newscasters were carefully trained to speak like us—because we, among all Americans, had no accents—isn’t quite as impressive.
In 1988, when I was ten, my parents moved to a five-acre farm between the rust-belt city of Rockford and the village of Winnebago. Not being from the area, they were naturally curious about the history, and one of them found a Works Progress Administration history of Illinois in the library. In that book, we discovered that the country road we lived on had once not been so somnolent. A block north of us, a large complex of buildings painted red bore the name Weldon Farm, but once it had been called Heaven. In the 1880s it had been the center of an obscure religious sect—still lacking a Wikipedia entry of their own—called the Beekmanites. A woman named Dorinda Beekman had declared herself to be Jesus, as one did in those days; she died after promising to rise from the dead in three days. Her considerable followers were disappointed until one of them, a red-headed man named George Jacob Schweinfurth, neatly solved the problem by explaining that her spirit had moved into his body. Many agreed; he and his followers, the Church Triumphant, moved into Heaven and lived communally, where he’d attracted attention as far away as the New York Times.
A block south of my parents’ place, the road dead-ended in front of a run-down house. A “bad” family lived there, and their children occasionally went to school with me. We would have called them poor white trash had we not been afraid of being beaten up. Their house, ramshackle as it appeared to be, had a history as well: it had once been Hell. Schweinfurth had lived in luxury in Heaven, arrayed with young women called Angels. Their husbands, had they any, and members of the group who’d fallen out of favor, were sent to Hell, where the work needed to keep the sect fed was done. Read More >>
Search
Categories
Latest Posts
White Nationalism’s New Clothes
2025-06-25 23:44Nigel Farage gets pelted with an egg in spectacular direct hit
2025-06-25 22:52This stock photo of an 'over
2025-06-25 22:46You can get a free pint of beer in London every time it rains
2025-06-25 21:46Discover Weakly
2025-06-25 21:41Popular Posts
Engineered for Dystopia
2025-06-25 23:55Theaters warn parents to keep kids away from 'Joker'
2025-06-25 23:53Instagram's new messaging app is for 'close friends' only
2025-06-25 23:40A March For the Marchers
2025-06-25 22:56Featured Posts
Small Man in a Memory Hole
2025-06-26 00:10Walking Dead spin
2025-06-25 22:33Nudging the Lexicon
2025-06-25 21:54Popular Articles
Foul Shot
2025-06-25 23:34I love the 'Destiny 2' Twitter that just shares bonkers Steam names
2025-06-25 22:57The truth behind Airbnb's Super Bowl ad
2025-06-25 22:19Walking Dead spin
2025-06-25 21:39Is Anyone Relating?
2025-06-25 21:34Newsletter
Subscribe to our newsletter for the latest updates.
Comments (426)
Impression Information Network
Socialism or Barbarism?
2025-06-26 00:03Steady Information Network
You can get a free pint of beer in London every time it rains
2025-06-25 23:19Highlight Information Network
Netflix's 'Living Undocumented' tackles hot
2025-06-25 22:39Information Information Network
Mum slams Trump on Facebook for calling daughter's murder 'terrorism'
2025-06-25 22:03Quality Information Network
Nudging the Lexicon
2025-06-25 21:48