【Dear Utol: Catfish Episode 46】
This Year’s #ReadEverywhere Contest Winners
Contests
This summer we invited you to #ReadEverywhere with The Paris Review and the London Review of Books. And guess what? We did it. We read literally everywhere. Good work, everyone.
The time has come to announce our contest winners, so that they may become the envy of their communities.
THIRD RUNNER-UP: When he’s not softening the image of a certain multinational entertainment conglomerate, this mouse man beheads himself and settles down with the London Review of Books. For his willingness to do this in public, he’ll receive a bundle of swag from the LRB and The Paris Review. (T-shirts, vintage back issues, fancy office supplies, and the like.) Kudos, mouse man!
SECOND RUNNER-UP: You shouldn’t run with scissors. You shouldn’t text while you drive. But if you want to read The Paris Review while cycling, as this person has, we have no choice but to reward you with free stuff.
FIRST RUNNER-UP: While the rest of the Internet was making Harambe memes, this intrepid reader ventured into the wild and perused an issue of the LRB in the general vicinity of a non-Harambe gorilla. Her derring-do has earned her a prize pack from Aesop, purveyors of fine skincare products: she’ll receive a “Reader’s Set” consisting of the Geranium Leaf Body Balm, Geranium Leaf Body Treatment, and a Blue Chamomile Facial Hydrating Masque. The gorilla receives nothing.
GRAND PRIZE: If you take the time to plastic wrap your issue of the LRB, and you get some nice sunglasses that make it easier to read underwater, and you learn to hold your breath for a really long time so you can get through all of Julian Barnes’s review of Van Gogh’s letters without ever coming up for air, then you deserve the highest prize in the land. In this case, that means Aesop’s “Writer’s Morning Set”: Reverence Exfoliating Hand Wash, Reverence Hand Balm, mouthwash, and Tacit eau de parfum.
Thanks to all who entered, all who read, and all who thought about reading. Until next summer, we wish you happy, painless, safe, prize-free reading experiences!
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