【Secretive Boarding House】

LONDON -- If you've ever wondered what goes on Secretive Boarding Housebehind the scenes at the Mashableoffices, let me describe it to you with two words from Monday morning's editorial meeting: penis map.

In brainstorming a unique angle to address the launch of the London bus Hopper fare, we found ourselves pondering all the things one might hope to accomplish on public transit within one hour.

It snowballed into something else entirely: a feminist quest to subvert the everyday patriarchal injustices that pervade social norms.

Initially not realising that the Hopper fare includes only two bus rides per hour (you won't be able to make unlimited switches within an hour until 2018, "possibly sooner"), we ambitiously decided to map out a shape in honour of London's latest transportation triumph. And the shape first pitched was a penis.

I find phallic-shaped oddities as amusing as the next person with the sense of humour of a 12 year old. However, having recently written a story about another penis map, I found myself exasperated with the ubiquity of the patriarchy. The feminist within me found her voice and responded, "why a penis? Why not a vagina instead?"

That is how, on Monday afternoon, I found myself hunched over a map of central London, sketching out a bus route in the likeness of the female reproductive system -- a project that ultimately has little relevance to the new bus Hopper fare: it is much, much bigger.

After some intensive planning (shoutout to Citymapper), I set off on what was really a symbolic voyage to impart gender equality on the great city of London through the noble practice of cartography.

Throughout my journey, I was heartened by signs of female resistance around the city:

Besides a minor glitch with the first ovary and some improvisation after a few missed buses, it was generally smooth sailing.

After nearly two hours and approximately 9 miles that took me from Trafalgar Square to Waterloo Bridge, past St. Paul's and the London Wall to finish with a glorious sweep of The Strand, I completed my masterpiece.

Behold:

Certainly, it is not a perfect rendtion, but to quote my human-sexuality lecturer from uni: "Just like beautiful snowflakes, no two vaginas are the same."

Will the Great London Vagina Bus-Mapping Challenge of 2016 initiate a new-wave art form? Time will tell. Has gender equality been achieved for all? Definitely not. But if a penis-shaped map is funny, then by god, we can laugh at a giant vagina, too.