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My unofficial beat at Mashable is couple have sex with doll porn videoscomplaining about Apple's phone colors. The "deep purple" iPhone wasn't purple enough for me, and I am still waiting for the hot pink Barbie iPhone of my dreams.

Today, Samsung entered the ring. Leaks of its new Samsung Galaxy S23 line speculated about four new colors: Phantom Black, Botanic Green, Cotton Flower, and Misty Lilac. And those the are the kind of names that come to play. Just by reading them, I have a pretty good idea of what they look like. Plus, they make me feel valued as a consumer because I know someone took at least one minute to think about what to call them.

It turns out I trust too easily because today Samsung released the official color names and they are Phantom Black, Cream, Green, and Lavender. I may not be a color expert, but I am a color enthusiast, and I have feedback.

The Phantom Black and Cream are accurate enough, but Lavender and Green have it coming.

Let's look at the "lavender" first, which more of a pink than a purple and more of a lilac than a lavender (lilac flowers are softer and more pink than lavender flowers which are more of a true purple). I tried to match Pantone colors to the official photo of the S23 and found that, at its lightest, Samsung's idea of "Lavender" a bit grey. At its darkest, it's what Pantone calls "Orchid Ice." Samsung, I cannot accept this.

"Green" is way, waytoo broad a color category. And remarkably, even though the color green applies to a least a hundred shades, it barely applies to this one. Grey? Charcoal? Maybe. The Pantone color I found to match the top is called "Sedona Sage," which I think is a stretch but would be a major upgrade from "green." Someone at Samsung was dead asleep at the wheel during this conference call. Another L for Samsung.

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I'm picky about color but I have numbers on my side. A Forbes headline read "The Samsung Galaxy S23 Series is gorgeous, despite its muted colors" and a Twitter user racked up more than 3,500 likes bemoaning Samsung's perception of color and lame names. Well, there's always next year.

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