【Russia】

Well,Russia friends, the fidget spinner craze keeps on spinning. And as more and more of my pals, enemies, and acquaintances acquire these little gadgets, there's a big question that I -- and perhaps only I -- want to answer.

What's a good name for someone who uses a fidget spinner?

Okay, hear me out. Someone who yo-yos is called a yo-yoer, right? And, as Chance the Rapper tells us, someone who plays with a hacky sack is called a hacky sacker.

But this formula doesn't quite work with fidget spinners. A fidget spinner-er? It just doesn't roll off the tongue the way it should.

So here are some other (very, very serious) ideas.

Fidgeters

Pros: Some people are already using this, I guess?

Cons: Already a word.

Spidgeters

Pros: Not already a word. Does not yield even a single Google result.

Cons: Sounds like a terrifying inhalant.

Spinners squared

Pros: It makes logical sense: people who spin fidget spinners are fidget spinner spinners, right? Spinners squared? Get it?

Cons: Deeply boring.

Spinneroonis

Pros: Turn to your left and say this to the first person you see: "I'm a spinnerooni!" Pretty fun.

Cons: You did not actually do the above, and neither will anyone else.

Masters of Spin

Pros: Could be a middle-of-the-road television show starring Michael Sheen and Lizzy Caplan.

Cons: This is a better name for a Kellyanne Conway-themed cabaret show than someone who uses a fidget spinner.

Fidgetbois

Pros: Always fun to spell "boi" with an I; am I right, boiz?

Cons: Not necessarily inclusive of non-male fidget spinner enthusiasts.

Cool folks

Pros: Fidget spinners are cool and so are the people who use them. This name pretty much says it all!

Cons: This is what they also used to call people who played Pokémon Go. :(

Please get back to me with your favorite. We simply mustget this sorted out.