【eroticization-of-fear】

There's no one who keeps things really real like Chrissy Teigen. The eroticization-of-fearmodel has built a career off of being open and honest—from everything about how she's feeling politically to the normal but unspoken things that go on with one's body.

In an interview with CosmopolitanMonday, the model gets personal and shares about her struggles with drinking, alcohol abuse in her family and sobriety.

"I was, point blank, just drinking too much," she told the magazine. "I got used to being in hair and makeup and having a glass of wine. Then that glass of wine would carry over into me having one before the awards show. And then a bunch at the awards show," she explained. "And then I felt bad for making kind of an ass of myself to people that I really respected. And that feeling, there's just nothing like that. You feel horrible. It's not a good look for me, for John, for anybody."

Teigen told Cosmothat with the medication she was taking for postpartum depression and anxiety, mixing alcohol wasn't a good move—despite the fact that she described herself as a person who "can't just have one drink."

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"They just assumed that it was OK because I always felt OK the next morning. I knew in my heart it wasn't right," she said, explaining why no one intervened. "[Alcohol] makes you very short with people. People think it's cutesy and fun to go on these boozy brunches, but there's more to it. I've never once been like, 'I'm sure glad I had that boozy brunch!'"

Teigen credits her family vacation time in Bali that helped her reset her lifestyle and focus more on wellness and sobriety. "I used to think it was kind of nutty to have to go totally sober, but now I get it," she said. "I don't want to be that person… I have to fix myself."