【bisexuality and the eroticism of everyday life by marjorie garber】

We regret to inform you that Tide Pods are bisexuality and the eroticism of everyday life by marjorie garbernot the only toxic item that looks delicious.

Yes, the detergent-filled Fruit Gusher of our wildest meme fantasies is only one forbidden snack among (potentially) thousands. In fact, forbidden snacks are all around us. We just have to look for them. And suspend virtually all of our natural shame.

But which is the best forbidden snack? Of course, it depends on your personal tastes -- if you don't like opaque gummies, for example, you probably won't find Polly Pocket shoes very appetizing.

But there are some forbidden snacks that are just objectively better than others, which is why we've compiled this definitive ranking for your use.

Please do not eat any of these things.

11. Himalayan salt lamps

We've seen a lot of talk about how delicious these salty lights look, but we'll admit we just don't understand the hype. First of all, you can technically lick Himalayan salt lamps, so the snack isn't entirely forbidden. And they're not even bite size! But they do resemble sour rock candy, which is incredible. Ultimately ... we get it.

10. Nintendo DS styluses

Is this the most luxurious forbidden snack? No. Does the pink one from the DS Lite look like strawberry-iced Pocky? Yes.

9. Polly Pocket clothes

For lovers of gummy candy (like the blue Scooby Doo fruit snack), Polly Pocket's bite-size clothing items look like the perfect after-school treat. Go ahead, slip an extra packet into your windbreaker for later. Mom won't notice. 😎

8. Pencil grips

Pencil grips are a good choice if you prefer a firmer gummy that offers stretch, but not much give. However, most pencil grips come in flat, boring colors, making their visual interest a bit lacking. Some look like they'd be a little chalky.

7. Dungeons and Dragons dice

Translucent and smooth, these dice look pleasing in the same way a fresh cube of Jello would be. Those angles! So clean. Would be best served cold, of course.

6. Amethysts

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Recently, one genius Redditor posted a photo of an amethyst to r/forbiddensnacks with the caption "G R A P E R O C K." We feel this sums up its appeal.

5. Bouncy balls

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On Twitter more than one person has admitted to sinking their teeth into one of these as a kid. We're sure that was extremely disappointing, but they do look like the most perfect, pearlescent gobstoppers you can imagine. Wow.

4. Lava

The forbidden crème brûlée.

3. Bath bombs

Bath bombs are one of the original forbidden snacks. While each bath bomb is different (and thus differently appetizing), most look like melty spheres of fruity sherbet that would not give you a stomachache. Some of them are even shaped like cupcakes. Those just aren't fair!

2. Tide Pods

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The forbidden snack that started it all. Are they plasticky fruit gushers? Syrup tortellini? Who knows. But they sure look delicious in that large bowl of 2% milk. (And, FYI, there is a real recipe for Tide Pods you can actually eat.)

1. Orbeez

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In our opinion, Orbeez haven't gotten enough credit in the forbidden snacks department, despite looking extremely similar to the fruit jelly found in bubble tea. Orbeez also expand when they're placed in water, which means their vibe is, well, juicy. And look at all the different flavors! For us, there is no forbidden snack more tempting than these little moisture spheres. Even Tide Pods don't compare.

Again, though, please do not actually eat them.